Q. Robert, from Weed, California asks: How can I tell the difference between Hal and Rob?
Q. Torsten from Wankers Corner, Oregon asks: What type of teeth whitener does Hal use?
A. I’m not at liberty to say.
Q. John from Blunt, California asks: Wasn’t HK the guy who won some race a few years back?
A. Yeah. Pretty much all the big ones, possibly more than once, although it was before Instagram got big so who knows for sure.
Q. Torsten from Wankers Corner, Oregon continues his questioning: Will whiter teeth make me faster?
A. No. But, we will see you coming.
Q. Joseph from Zigzag, Oregon asks: Why is it called the Siskiyou Out Back?
A. Actually as race co-founder Mel Bailey will tell you it’s really the Siskiyou out n’back, but we have trouble with apostrophes. We like SOB. And yes, the race is more or less out and back.
Q. Julie from Bat Cave, North Carolina asks: When will my drop bag be back at the finish?
A. Look, we encourage you not to even bother. We told you all your needs would be met, yet last year you made us take an extra pair of shoes and socks out to Jackson Gap, to say nothing of the Jelly Beans, vaseline and assorted, high priced, “endurance fuels”. Sheesh. Save yourself (and us) some aggravation, and leave that, ah, stuff, at home. We will take good care of you.
Q. Mark from Vas Deferens, Nevada asks: Is there vaseline at each aid station?
A. Yes. We are big believers in lube.
Q. Pat from Timid Deer, California asks: Can I get a selfie with Hal at the finish?
A. Yes. But please don’t ask him if he still runs.
Q. Bob from Chicken, Alaska asks: Can I drop down in distance?
A. Yes but we need a note from your cardiologist and mother. Yes, you can drop down a distance. You just need to inform us race morning swinging by registration 45 minutes before the start of the race you want to run. If you have paid for one of the two longer races and elect to run the 15K you can still enjoy the after race meal. After all, you did pay for it. You will need to see Susan upon completing the 15K for your meal ticket.
Q. Eric from Big Bottom, Washington asks: How strict are your time limits?
A. The older we get the less strict we are. Stop the hand wringing already. Seriously, if you’re reasonably fit and not walking every step of the way you can easily make the 50k. The 50 mile is a little more challenging but we really don’t want anyone out after dark. The 100K has a 17 hour cut-off.
Q. Alison from Bacon, Washington asks: I’m a gluten and wheat free vegan with a nut allergy. Can you meet my A/S dietary needs?
A. Clearly you should be a local. Plan your drop bags. Next question.
Q. Camille from Skyhigh, California asks: Why did you move race day?
A. First, we got tired of shoveling snow. Then came what we now unaffectionately refer to as “fire season.” Sigh. We’re simply trying to hit the seasonal sweet spot but we’ve noticed it seems to be getting hotter for some reason.
Q. Jenn from Boring, Oregon asks: What is the Ashland running scene like?
A. Think lots of big hills, and beer, especially IPA, which adds to the conviviality of the locals. We like beer. Do you like beer, senator? We’re also quite fond of our Shakespeare. This race is put on by the local running community. The staff of most of the aid stations are local ultra runners that have had the SOBs teach them everything they know about ultrarunning. It took about ten minutes. Make sure you thank the folks generously for their time. Trust us, they’d rather be running.
Q. Justin from Ding Dong, Texas asks: How do you pronounce Koerner?
A. Start by not saying Corner. Anything else is either correct or entertainingly creative.
Q. Mike from Bitter End, Tennessee asks: How do I know when the post race party’s over?
A. When you hear our Party Killer playlist featuring Paul Anka followed by Barry Manilow and the Captain and Tennile and realize it’s not a coincidence (sorry Muskrat love fans).